


Test Of Faith

by SamuelJames



Category: Latter Days (2003)
Genre: Gen, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Internalized Homophobia, Triple Drabble, Unlikeable Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 19:08:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6206977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamuelJames/pseuds/SamuelJames
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Paul is bi and hates it. He wants to know how he can switch off those feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Test Of Faith

**Author's Note:**

> _**Title:** Test Of Faith_   
>  _**Character:** Paul Ryder_   
>  _**Rating:** 15+_   
>  _**Summary:** Paul is bi and hates it. He wants to know how he can switch off those feelings._   
>  _**Disclaimer:** This transformative work has been created purely for entertainment purposes. No profit is made or sought. No copyright infringement is intended._   
>  _**Archiving Information:** Please do not archive elsewhere on the net or in other formats/languages._

Paul's sick of the dreams that make him wake up with sticky sheets. Dreams are meant to be your mind's way of dealing with stuff but the things he dreams about are wrong, sinful. Thinking about kissing guys or touching them is sick but he has no control over his dreams. He'd dealt with this before Davis and maybe being paired with him was a test. He'd done the right thing and reported him, passed the test if it was one. 

He likes women too, doesn't have to pretend they're pretty. Why can't his mind accept that? He'll marry and be a good husband but sometimes fragments of his dreams come to him during the day when he's trying to teach people about the church. Nothing should pull focus from the mission.

He doesn't knowingly know any gays except Davis and the queer who seduced him, leading him astray. Davis should have been stronger, resisted temptation. He wishes he could turn off these sinful thoughts and decides he'll have to go back to Los Angeles when his mission ends and see if Christian can set him straight. He doesn't know what kind of cover story might explain away such a trip.

He should seek help within the church but he doesn't want to be labelled or have people think whoever he marries is just someone being used to hide perverted desires. He can't trust anyone with this and it might not give him answers but it's all he can think to do. His new roommate pretends not to notice him changing the sheets but if he ever comments, Paul has got a story of some beautiful woman ready to go, not some gorgeous man undressing him.

Perhaps Christian might help, strange that a sinner should have such a meaningful name.


End file.
